Honestly yours

Kristin at A Few Things to Say wants my honesty. So you have only her to blame.

My job is to share 10 things about myself and then ask you to do the same. Without further ado, here are 10 things you wish I'd kept private:

1. I sometimes put a pillow over the Mountain Man's face when he's sleeping because he snores so damned loudly that it wakes me up out of my sleep. I get an evil thrill out of placing the pillow just right. Often, he'll lay there with it on his face all night.

2. Sometimes when I don't want to burp out loud, I'll burp in my throat. According to my husband, that's just as gross.

3. One of the reasons I love working from home is I don't have to find a deserted restroom for my daily constitutional. Also, I can keep all the good reading material at the ready because who can poop without a great book?

4. And Sudoku done in pencil. Sometimes a girl needs numbers along with her words.

5. I had to take Bella into the women's restroom at McDonald's yesterday. The woman who came out of the stall we went into hadn't flushed. I taught Bella to say, "that's disgusting!" really loudly and enjoyed that the woman could hear us. Who does that?

6. I can't think of any more bathroom talk for your Monday reading pleasure. Moving on, the MM and Javi went man camping this weekend and I didn't miss them at all. Judge away.

7. I haven't been completely kid- or husband-free for a whole night in YEARS. And I tried hard but couldn't find anyone willing to keep Bella one night this weekend. Yes, I was bitter about it.

8. When Bella peed in her bed twice on Saturday (both when she woke up and when she took a nap), I honestly wondered if I'd make it.

9. I was only slightly disappointed when MM stayed home from work today to recover from camping. At least he's been napping all morning. It's sort of like finally being alone for the first time days.

10. I am already encouraging another man camping trip. Only this time, I'm sending Bella along with them!

Now. Your turn. Spill it!


  • Dalia (Generation X Mom)

    You are too funny! How did you even come up with all that stuff! Hilarious!

  • Cheri

    gotta love potty humor on a Monday.

  • Cheryl

    Numbers 1-4 in the house! Reading that I'm not the only one who is guilty of #1 is very comforting. :)

  • TKW

    I'm laughing at you guys commenting on the "gross behavior" of the woman in McDonald's. That's great!

    My husband snores like a warthog.

  • Anonymous

    I have a secret fantasy that my family would go away for a few days and leave me all to my own. One day it will happen.

  • Anonymous

    LOL! You're too funny Kelly! I love it!

    Now I have to think of 10 honest things to say about me...

  • liz

    #3 - are you my husband?
    #5 - i laughed out LOUD!

  • Kelly Miller

    What is up with snoring husbands?! What's really messed up is mine has no tonsils or adenoids. He has to WORK at snoring so damn loud. (Love snoring like a warthog, Kitch!)

    @Kristin - I cannot wait to have a full night alone. It's going to be awesome. I'll probably stay up too late reading blogs and then fall asleep next to a pint of ice cream while watching Criminal Minds, but that's kinda my heaven.

    @Those who liked #5. My bourgie ass daughter REFUSES to pee on other people's pee or poop. Which means I had to flush the woman's left-behind (because the other stall was still taken). SO DISGUSTING!

  • Bibliomama

    Now THAT's some plain-speakin' honesty. :) Last night I had horrible insomnia and my husband was lying there snoring beside me. Around 3 a.m. I started fantasizing about elaborate ways to smother him.

  • Jack Steiner

    Snoring is an art.

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE my me time! I'm glad that you were able to get some. Also, peeing in the bed? Ew. That sucks but it does get better, right?

  • Joey Lynn Resciniti

    I shake the bed in an attempt to stop the snoring. Perhaps I should try the pillow trick. It sounds more fun!

    I started letting my internal monologue out in public when my daughter was a wee infant. It seems that I'm talking to someone when I expound on how much I hate cigarette smoke or how inconsiderate it was to leave TP all over the restroom!

  • Kelly Miller

    @JoeyRes - Yes, I have to say everything out loud. Like when we have to tromp through a haze of cigarette smoke to get to any door in any public place. I have loud and vehemently say that it's filthy and not fair that my children must breath it in. Why do smokers cluster in doorways anyway? Ugh!

    @Lauren - I choose to believe it gets better. She's only one week 1 of not wearing a pull up or diaper to bed. So far that was 2 out of only 3 accidents.

    @Bibliomama - When I don't smother him, I kick his legs and elbow his back while pretending to be asleep. I can't be blamed for any sleep beatings I give!

  • Jami

    Ha ha ha! "That's disgusting."...I love it! I hope that lady was embarassed.

  • Unknown

    OMG. So funny. You need to do these all the time! :)

    Good for you on calling out that nasty lady who didn't flush- that's so gross & inconsiderate.

    Next time they go camping I'll watch Bella! :)

  • Janine

    You're awesome. Enough said.

  • Unknown

    Love this. I was just thinking today that I haven't had an alone couple hours, more or less, a night or day in about 4 years. Maybe that's what I'll ask H for for Mother's Day...

  • Unknown

    Are you serious... who does that with the bathroom? ICK!

  • Draft Queen

    I loathe when ppl don't flush after themselves. Really? Why not?

    Good luck getting that night alone.

  • The Drama Mama

    OMG, I missed this yesterday, but man oh man I needed it today! I'm literally rolling on the floor with tears pooling from my eyes from laughing so hard. The thing is I can SO relate to so many of these things, too.

    Do you know we have a LAPTOP in the master bathroom so we don't have to miss a thing during our dailies? Yep. You are reading that correctly.

  • Kelly Miller

    @TDM - I totally was going to put (and sometimes a laptop) but thought that might be going to far with the whole honesty thing. Too funny!

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear what you have to say! (If you want an emailed response, be sure to enable email in your Blogger settings -- see a tutorial here.)

Now. Spill it!