GTT: I'm not cut out to live with people

I grew up in a household of women. From the day I was born, I shared a room with another woman. For a brief time during my childhood, my mom implemented a rotation that allowed each of us three girls to have our own room for six months before having to move back into a shared room. It was glorious, but short lived and the six months always flew by and I was back in the room with one of my sisters.

Which leaves me at a loss as to why my adult roommate situations have all ended so horribly. Allow me to bullet it out for you:

~~D. The single white female from freshman year of college. She wasn't supposed to be my roommate, but the original didn't want me. After the first one dumped me (based on nothing as it happened before we even moved into our dorm room), I was put with a girl named V. But V.'s best friend was assigned to D. -- so they swapped us.

So began a year of this girl copying everything I did -- down to getting her hair cut just like mine -- and plotting against me when I didn't reciprocate her ... adoration? I will say that I screwed her as a roommate but I won't say why in case she ever reads this. Let's just say it involves a lot of tequila, an 80-mile drive, a fruitless search for illegal things, and one hell of a cover up. :)

~~CP. I should've known this bitch was trouble, but she was willing to move off campus and recruited her friend J. to live with us. It all went to hell when CP's ex and I became best friends (we were all friends to start with) and she retaliated by sleeping with every male friend I had. Also, when my friends called, she'd tell them that I wasn't there (even when I was) and then she'd offer to stand in me if they wanted to do something. I can't tell you how many times I'd show up somewhere and she'd be having dinner or drinks with my people.

We finally had a showdown during which I told her she was a psycho slut who embarrassed herself. She told me I was a lying bitch. We agreed to hate each other -- but she still insisted on inviting her friends to my parties. She's still living the same pitiful leachy life. (Can you tell I'm not over it?)

~~CW. I met CW online and offered to share my home with her and her son when she relocated to our area. She took me up on it. This was one of the biggest mistakes of both of our lives. Her kid attacked my kid, I showed interest in Billy to keep her from dating him, she went to my family to complain about what a horrible person I am, and I kicked her out.

I'm one of those people who believes you make choices and then you deal with the consequences. She was one of those people who makes choices and then cries about them. We didn't mesh, but I hope she's happy and that they are both living a good life now.

Luckily, I have had some wonderful roommate situations. I think the key is living with people you really like rather than those who will just split rent. I had some iffy situations with my other roommates in Boston, but those weren't horror stories, just a few months of uncomfortableness before we all went our separate ways. However, Kati and I would've lived together forever if I hadn't moved back to NC from Boston. And Billy and I enjoy sharing the same space.

So tell me -- what are your roommate horror stories?


  • Cheryl

    Um, I really want to hear about what you covered up. That was such a tease! :) Seriously, though, you had some crazy roommates!

  • Becky Mochaface

    Some people's rationale for their behavior I will never get. At least it's an entertaining story!

  • Anonymous

    The whole SWF situation sounds like, whoa. Crazy!

  • Kelly Miller

    Cheryl - Let's just say that while the statute of limitations on my crimes has run out, if she ever found out about me drinking a bottle of tequila and then stealing her car so that I could go find something illegal (and then never actually finding it but drive around 3 different counties looking) -- she'd be totally not guilty in a court of law if she killed me.

  • Kelly Miller

    @Jadedperspective: It got really creepy and then I decided just to eff with her. I mean, what else do you do with crazy?

  • Jack Steiner

    Sounds like there are some good stories.

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear what you have to say! (If you want an emailed response, be sure to enable email in your Blogger settings -- see a tutorial here.)

Now. Spill it!