For the Birds

Here's something not many people know about me: I hate birds. Like, hate them. I know they're supposed to be all charming and whimsical and modern... but birds poop in nasty places and eat crap off the ground and attack people. They carry mites and lice. They are disgusting little creatures.

With that in mind, I sat down with my daughter and made a bird feeder. She loves the little rats. Like, loves them so much she shrieks with excitement when they land on the tree next to our living room window and she tries to chase them when they wind up in her line of sight when we go on walks. Sitting at the dinner table, she'll yell, "I sound yike a buhd! Chweep, chweep!" How could I not take random pink things and piece them together for a cute bird feeder for the back deck so she can watch the birds play and eat while sitting at the table?

Materials: Pink flower shaped melamine plate from Walmart ($1), wire hanger, pink ribbon ($3), pliers, and man strength.

Instructions: Stretch out the hanger so it's a big circle (don't unwind the hook - that's how you'll hang it). Flatten the bottom of the hanger and set plate on it. Bring in your man strength to wrap the hanger tightly around the plate. Twist a few times. Tie the ribbon across the other side of the plate to make it more stable. Fill with bird seed and hang.

Extra: The mountain man said I should wrap ribbon around the sides of hanger to make it prettier. Then he made me promise not to tell anyone he suggested that. Um, yeah, whatever. I think it's a great idea but I haven't implemented it because in my mind this project is marked DONE.

I have no pictures of the process because I was too busy explaining 18 different ways what I wanted MM to do (because the wire hurt my fingers), even though it was super simple once he finally got it. But here is my sweet girl filling her new toy:
The birds have flocked to it, though they fly away whenever I try to take a picture. Bella will sit very quietly munching her grapes or goldfish until a few birds appear. Then she squeals, "Dem buhds is back!" and the birds scatter again. Apparently our house is not very sound proof. I'll keep that in mind.

This post is part of the 30-Minute Blog Challenge, Get Your Craft On, Works for Me Wednesday, Wordful Wednesday.


  • TKW

    OHMIGOD!!!! I hate birds, too! They totally skeeb me out. I won't even go into BirdWorld at the zoo.

    And guess what? We got a bird feeder as a Christmas gift this year. I'm waiting until summer to install that sucker...and thinking it's still a BAD idea!

  • BigLittleWolf

    Too funny about the birds. (Not something my kids ever asked for. Don't hate them, but not my thing. I like birds outside.)

    Nice job on the feeder! I'm pretty impressed! (Seems like a great project.)

  • CaneWife

    1. That's freaking adorable.

    2. I hate birds, too. Except hummingbirds and cockatiels.

    3. Do you have squirrels? I think that will probably become a squirrel feeder in short order :)

  • se7en

    Now that's a funny post - chuckle!!!

  • Draft Queen

    Birds are creepy. I particularly despise seagulls. Mostly because they aren't afraid of me.

    My son used to try to catch them with a stick and a pail when he was about Bella's age. Thank goodness his approach was off because if he had ever caught one I would've freaked!

  • Kelly Miller

    @TKW - I figure the birds don't need us in the summertime. I mean, fend for yourself little effers.

    @BLW - Thank you! It was really easy and cheap. I don't know why my dearest one couldn't figure out "wrap it around the plate!" ... but once it clicked for him, it was smooth sailing.

    @CaneWife - I will put out a hummingbird feeder later in the spring just so the kids can marvel at the hummingbirds, but they're nasty, too. We do have squirrels, but we never get them on the deck. They attack our front yard feeder on a daily basis.

    @DQ - Yes! We get seagulls around here too despite being 100 miles from the ocean. They will literally dive bomb you if you spend too much time out in the open w/ food in your hand. They come out of nowhere!

  • Anonymous

    Birds are nasty. I used to have a friend that had like 4 birds as pets and kept their cages in the kitchen. Gross.

  • Jami

    I have become a fan of birds, now that we live in the woods and get so many cool ones. We put out our first feeder this winter. They kids went crazy, like you said, but the birds pooped all over my deck. So I moved them out in the woods and now nobody cares enough to fill them.
    That's sort of a sad story, huh.


  • Kelly Miller

    @Lauren - We had birds twice (thanks to my dear husband) and both times they were in the kitchen (though in a far corner). SO GROSS.

    @Jami - If they poop on my deck it will be OVER for them. They best not. Again - SO GROSS.

  • tattytiara

    I'd never heard of anybody hating birds, and for some inexplicable reason I find that hilarious - even though I used to rehabilitate raptors! Very nice job on the bird feeder.

  • Cecily R

    Birds give me the heebie jeebies too!!! That said, what a cool project!

  • Liz Mays

    Ah! That's ingenious!

  • Debbie

    Cute bird feeder! And what a great mom you are to make it even though you hate birds!
    Came over from SITS.

  • The Halbert Home

    Found you on WFMW. This is a fun idea! Speaking of sound proof homes when I turned on my TV today the birds started SQUAWKING! I think they didn't like their silence being disrupted.

  • The Halbert Home

    I think you could use fabric glue. I've hand sewed them before and it turned out ok. As for the bows. I started with small loops and then pulled them out until they were cute. Sometimes it took a couple of reties until it was right.

  • jineen

    not only are birds creepy, they can be loud as hell! we have this one particular bird with this one particular noise that drives me nuts!!!! i yell at it on a daily basis:) but i totally love your bird feeder, but i totally am not making one because i am not encouraging those stinkers to come any closer.....

  • JDaniel4's Mom

    JDaniel would love this. He has been worried about the birds. My neighbor warned me to hang a bird feeder far away from the house. Birds poop where they eat is what she told me.

    I am glad I am not the only mother of an art changer.

  • Lee

    That's cute...and I'm with you...we have those black birds and they flock together and there will be hundreds on the street lamps..just waiting to crap all over the first person who gets out of their car.

  • suzannah | the smitten word

    so funny. and a cute craft:)

    could you direct me to the tutorial you followed to change the color of your comment responses? i tried it once and was unsuccessful.

  • Annie @ Sister Wisdom

    Hahahaha! "the little rats" love that line. You're a great writer. Thanks for the laugh in my day. I'm (belatedly) following up on 30-minute posts and this one is awesome!
    ps. kudos on the crafting. i feel guilty now.

  • The Drama Mama

    Oh, what a fun project! I think even my daughter would like this one! (She's not the arts and crafts kind).

  • Kelly Miller

    You should try it with her. It's low on the frustration scale and she may hyperfocus on choosing the ribbon, twisting the wire, and keeping it full of seeds. I'll warn you that the tightening the wire around the plate is tough, so that could induce some frustration from her.

    You'll have to let me know if she likes it!

  • amber_mtmc

    Emily loves birds too. I could care less, as long as they don't come near me. But, then again, I like all animals, from a distance. No house pets in this home.

  • Janine

    So cute! You are such a great mom...making a feeder for the enemy! Great post. = )

  • Heidi - D

    Totally with you! I hate birds as well. If you want the background on that, you can check out my post at http://itsjustmeheidid.blogspot.com/2010/04/flashback-friday-my-horror.html . You are a good woman for making this with your daughter!

    New reader, here from Lady Bloggers!

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