My funny Valentine

Years have passed since my era of first dates (9 to be exact), and that era wasn't what it could've been. In fact, I've never been on a date. Not a real one, anyway. A boy never gussied himself up, nervously rang my doorbell, or suffered through an inquisition by my parents. Not once. Adult dating proved equally lacking.

But I haven't given up on the idea of dating and there are two children in my home who one day will likely (hopefully) leave the house in the company of someone who gives them butterflies in their bellies. For Javi, the time is drawing near to be that skittish young man entering another family's circle in the hopes of earning the lasting favor of a girl (or boy, but he says girl).

Which means it's time for training. What better occasion for a first date than Valentine's day? And what better test subject than his own high-standards-having, quick-to-correct mother?

Yep, after a bit of cajoling, he finally asked me to dinner with him and chose a location he thought I'd enjoy. He knocked on the front door and made small talk with the Mountain Man (even shaking his hand and introducing himself) and even opened doors for me. He tried to call me Kelly and sit in the front seat, but we put the kibosh on that quickly.

All was going well until the local eatery was closed and we wound up at Applebees. This was where our date went south. Guess what Applebees offers. SPORTS TV. On like 15 different screens. Because the universe was against me, the Lady Vols were playing the Vanderbilt Commodores on the screen right above our table. And that means that while I was trying to teach him how to show interest in a companion, he was doing this:

And while I was trying to teach him to wipe his mouth after he chews, keep his elbows off the table, not drag his sleeves through wing sauce, and not burp, he was doing this:

I texted the MM to vent some frustrations. His response: "That's the price you pay for dating a Miller man." I almost objected, but then Javi passed gas audibly and laughed so hard his arm jerked and his Sprite went spilling across the table.

Suffice it to say we have work to do. But he's only 10 and there's time to prepare him for whatever woman grabs his heart when the time comes. I'm happy with this rough start, know what I'm up against, and never back down from a challenge.

On the plus side, though he's a horrible conversationalist and a messy eater, he still manages to steal my heart. And he asked me for another date soon. This time he says he'll take me to the movies. *Swoon.*