My funny Valentine

Years have passed since my era of first dates (9 to be exact), and that era wasn't what it could've been. In fact, I've never been on a date. Not a real one, anyway. A boy never gussied himself up, nervously rang my doorbell, or suffered through an inquisition by my parents. Not once. Adult dating proved equally lacking.

But I haven't given up on the idea of dating and there are two children in my home who one day will likely (hopefully) leave the house in the company of someone who gives them butterflies in their bellies. For Javi, the time is drawing near to be that skittish young man entering another family's circle in the hopes of earning the lasting favor of a girl (or boy, but he says girl).

Which means it's time for training. What better occasion for a first date than Valentine's day? And what better test subject than his own high-standards-having, quick-to-correct mother?

Yep, after a bit of cajoling, he finally asked me to dinner with him and chose a location he thought I'd enjoy. He knocked on the front door and made small talk with the Mountain Man (even shaking his hand and introducing himself) and even opened doors for me. He tried to call me Kelly and sit in the front seat, but we put the kibosh on that quickly.

All was going well until the local eatery was closed and we wound up at Applebees. This was where our date went south. Guess what Applebees offers. SPORTS TV. On like 15 different screens. Because the universe was against me, the Lady Vols were playing the Vanderbilt Commodores on the screen right above our table. And that means that while I was trying to teach him how to show interest in a companion, he was doing this:

And while I was trying to teach him to wipe his mouth after he chews, keep his elbows off the table, not drag his sleeves through wing sauce, and not burp, he was doing this:

I texted the MM to vent some frustrations. His response: "That's the price you pay for dating a Miller man." I almost objected, but then Javi passed gas audibly and laughed so hard his arm jerked and his Sprite went spilling across the table.

Suffice it to say we have work to do. But he's only 10 and there's time to prepare him for whatever woman grabs his heart when the time comes. I'm happy with this rough start, know what I'm up against, and never back down from a challenge.

On the plus side, though he's a horrible conversationalist and a messy eater, he still manages to steal my heart. And he asked me for another date soon. This time he says he'll take me to the movies. *Swoon.*


  • Corinne

    What a sweetie, even covered in sauce and sprite :)

  • Cheri

    too funny - I know God didn't give me little boys for a very good reason!

  • Sofia's Ideas

    LOL! Love it! And I love your husband's response too - priceless! :)

  • heather of the eo

    That's hilarious! What a great mom you are. :)

    Happy V Day!

  • Allison

    I'm smiling so widely my cheeks hurt. That is the very reason my husband is never allowed to face a tv when we're out anywhere. what a cutie.

  • Kelly

    Thanks guys - my boy is going to be every girl's best boyfriend (even if it kills me).

    @Allison - I considered switching seats, but the TVs are everywhere. Why do people need to sit in a restaurant and watch TV? Can't you do that at home?

  • Anonymous

    I hate TVs in restaurants - even *I* am drawn to them! But the date idea is soo darn cute!

    Your post made me remember a first (and only) date I had at an Applebees. For a brief, desperate phase in my life I joined a dating service, and that was where we went. My date was not drawn to the TVs, but did tell me how he brought cut vegetables to lunch every day - vegetables he cut up on the weekend. When I said I didn't think I'd ever get to the point where I'd be able to prepare my whole week of lunches on the weekend, he slammed the table and said "Discipline!" We did not go out again. A good move because I don't think he could've handled me and certainly not Dylan!


  • ayala

    This is too cute and funny. Happy Valentine's Day!

  • Kelly

    @Dee - Woah. I would say, "That is not date behavior!" if Javi attempted something like that. I used that type of phrasing all night last night.

    @Ayala - Thanks! I highly recommend it. :)

  • Draft Queen

    I love that he tried to call you Kelly! He does look adorable with wing sauce all over his face, staring at the TV! He can take me on a date any time!

  • Anonymous

    This is so sweet... and funny. (Of course, I wasn't in the booth when he passed gas!)

    Really, really delightful. I must spend more time here...your blog has many layers.

  • Liz

    What a great idea! And I'm sorry about the 15 Sports TVs!

    I hope that for your next date, he's all eyes on YOU!

  • Cathy

    Okay that picture with the wings - priceless...might need to show him that later and discuss how to not impress on a date (slightly kidding of course). I have a 15, 12 and 7 year old boys...never thought about training. Might need to hop on that bus!

  • Jessica

    Oh my gosh, I just laughed out loud several times (priceless pics!). Sweet Javi's behavior had me thinking about my own passing-gas, TV-staring 5 year old fella...all handsome and growing up, and stealing his mamas heart everyday.

  • Jen

    Oh this is so grrrrreat! I can't wait to "date" my son in a few years. The messy eating sounds very familiar. It's so rare to have time to spend one-on-one. I'm glad you both enjoyed it. Now for selecting a movie you'll agree on ...

  • Kelly

    @Jessica - Maybe if you start now, you can curb the passing gas and watching TV part. Maybe (but not likely).

    @Jen - The date was pretty good for a first time effort. I thought he would appreciate the one-on-one time more than he did, but I loved it.

  • Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri

    I love that grin. Calling you Kelly? Hilarious!

  • Life with Kaishon

    I just love your family!

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