7 Things

Katie tagged me, so I am telling you 7 things about myself you might not know or realize. However, just as you'll never uncover a photograph of me doing bad things because my mama might see it, this list is mama-friendly (hi mama!):

1. I may be the only parent who finds other kids as cute as her kids. I honestly believe that I have two good-lookin' children. They have traditionally good looks, but they also have some pretty awesome personalities. To me, Bella is most beautiful when she's dancing in circles listening to one of those aweful kids' songs she loves and Javier is most handsome when he's animatedly telling me a story about something in his day or sharing his logic with me (example). But, I will run into other children in the world who seem just as adorable. However, according to my husband and my mom - those children may be okay to look at ... but they don't hold a candle to our kids. My mom says this about Bella more often than any other kid. Maybe most people don't compare boys' looks as much as they do girls'? Anyway - sometimes I feel that I should be biased, but I feel very objective about it.

2. I like to make fun of my children (and probably yours, too). My family has an infamously morbid humor. Anyone who gets along well with us probably shares that humor. That means I can laugh and joke about things other people find sacrosanct. For example, my son has the biggest teeth known to 7 year olds. I mean - they are like two surfboards hanging from his gums. Sometimes after he eats, there'll still be food stuck to the upper half of them - which is why I force him to brush ... a lot. Of course, I do not make fun of my kid (or yours) if there's any chance I could be overheard. But, dude, it's pretty funny stuff.

3. I am often other people's scapegoat. I am known for being upfront and honest. I know many people who live in carefully constructed bubbles. When their bubbles encounter friction, those people often bring up my name. I may have only a distant connection to the problem (such as I know the same people as the bubble-dweller), but nine times out of ten, it'll be me who takes the fall. My friend Amy perfected this strategy back in college when she was online dating this guy in Canada. She'd have me say or send things, then when the guy got upset, she'd say "Hey, it was Kelly!" Not many of the newer people in my life are guilty of this fall-back, but many of the people who've been around for a while are. My favorite component of this strategy is that many times the guilty parties are so clueless that they may actually believe that I am Voldemort.

4. I watch a lot of tv, but I spend way more time reading online junk. Okay, not everything I read is "junk," per se, but I spend a inordinate amount of time reading user-generated content. And, I often consider that content just as authoritative as traditional media. For instance, my feeds are full of this and this. But, they are also full of personal blogs, mom blogs and local blogs. Notice: blogs, blogs, and some more blogs. As a work-from-home mom, I think my blogs help me feel connected, as though I am dropping by the "watercooler" in many different offices. Yay for blogs!

5. I was almost a biologist. Can you imagine? As an undergrad, I double majored in English and Gender Studies. In fact, I chose my college based on its fantastic English department. However, in my freshman year, I had to take one of those 100-person Biology seminar classes .... and it was awesome. I enjoyed learning more about the human body and the subject clicked in my brain in a way that science never had before. If I could've focused more on biology, I might have considered changing my major, but instead I loaded up on science courses that fit my Gender Studies curriculum. That means I've taken lots of sociology, psychology and physiology courses, which were also fascinating. I am confident that I wasn't cut out to be a scientist, but I do know several English majors who started out at as Biology majors, and many science/math people who started out as English majors ... so perhaps there's a connect somewhere?

6. I have always wanted to leave in a commune. I don't know that commune is exactly the word, but I'd love to have a safe space for women and children where we make our own food and clothes, provide job skills and training, and focus on creating strong, healthy women ... who would then raise strong, healthy children. I'd love to be in a position to work with a non-profit that would tie into that dream, but unfortunately with the cost of child care and all my student loans, etc., I must continue churning out content for The Man.

7. I used to have a crush on Jesse Helms. Yes, you read that correctly. Jesse "The Devil" Helms. I can only explain this by saying that my papa was a staunch Republican, and I spent a lot of time with him and his girlfriend at the time... and they spent a lot of time watching and talking about Jesse. I thought he was an angel and wanted to give him a big hug. I shared that with my mother, who promptly threw up a little in her mouth and warned that my great-grandparents were rolling over in their graves. In my defense, I was probably 10 at the time and didn't realize that Jesse would consider my very birth an abomination. As I got older and actually paid attention to ol' Jesse, I came to my senses. :)

I hear a baby crying ... time to start our day!