Have You Heard The One About The Girl With Dud Kidneys?

When your fourth favorite person (after
the husband and the two kids)
has a just-keeps-dwindling list
of foods she can consume without
landing herself in a dialysis chair,
you learn to cook with creativity
and to make really bad jokes
that save you from the frustration
of fending off an uncertain death.

"Know why vampires run from garlic?
They're a milligram of magnesium away
from renal failure!" Get it? Right?!
"What did the new kidney say
to the old one? Urine in
my way!" That's too damn funny!

But this saving grace only works
for small children and morbid sisters.
Luckily, I have both ... for now.

Have you started your holiday shopping? Can I interest you in a tee shirt for a good cause? We're selling "Kidney Cutie" tees and sweatshirts as a mini-fundraiser for my sister's kidney transplant. They're cute and comfortable (I know because I wear one all the time).

You can click here to order one. All tees ordered from now through Dec. 20 will come with a special note from Ashley and will be delivered in time for Christmas. I can't think of a better way to honor the season than by giving someone a gift that they know is helping to save a life.

And you can keep up with my sister's progress on her Facebook page: Kidney Cutie.

Okay - one last joke: "Did you hear about the girl who just went on a very strict renal diet? There are only three things she can’t put in her mouth: a fork, a knife, and a spoon." Ba dum chh!

***This post is part of Six Word Fridays.***


  • Bibliomama

    My family treats downer subjects with bad humour too. I will email you about how the sizes run and order a few - my MIL married a nephrologist, so even if I wasn't 100% behind the cause, they really work! xoxoxoxo

  • Mel Gallant

    Kelly, would love to offer support. Will you ship to Canada?

  • amber_mtmc

    Well these made me laugh in a dark sense of humor kind of way (just my cup of tea).

  • ayala

    Kelly, creative poem. I just ordered one for myself. :)

  • Kelly Miller

    @Mel - I imagine we would, but you'd have to pay the shipping. I don't know what it would be...

  • Melissa Camara Wilkins

    You guys are so creative, Kelly, and more than a little bit hilarious even in the face of all this.

  • Anonymous

    Sometimes a string of bad jokes is a lifeline.

  • Unknown

    very cute shirts!!

  • Jami

    Oh Kelly, I guess I missed a lot while I was gone. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's struggle. I am sending prayers her way.

  • Bibliomama

    I'm trying to order shirts, but I can't figure out how to order two of them that are different sizes and different colours - how will you know which size is which colour? Should I just do the order and then email you?

  • Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri

    Thinking of you and your family Kelly. I read BLW's post about your sis and will be donating. Sending strength.

  • Anonymous

    Just made sure to donate, and sending warm and hopeful wishes to your whole family. Keep fighting!!

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