On friendship

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. ~Anonymous

I have several close friends, but none knew me when I was a pudgy, inquisitive toddler who loved playing dress up and wearing lipstick and carrying pocketbooks. Despite growing up in a neighborhood full of single mothers and more children than one could count, I'm not friends with any of those kids anymore.

Seeing my children making memories with other littles makes me both yearn for a lifelong friendship of my own and dedicate myself to maintaining and encouraging the friendships they make. I hope they look back 30 years from now and sigh with the contentment and gratitude of knowing that this person beside them knows exactly who they are and where they came from.

I am thankful for the friends I have now and those who've graced me with their hearts along the way. Friendship is a beautiful gift that I haven't always treasured. Lesson learned.

***This post is part of Wordish Wednesdays and Wordful Wednesdays.***


  • Kim

    I feel very blessed to still be in touch with friends I have had since kindergarten. We don't live in the same part of the country, so we don't physically see each other often, but we write frequently, talk often, visit when we can, and now stay in touch daily on Facebook! It is amazing to think that I've been friends with these ladies for almost 50 years! We've seen each other through a lot over the years and I cherish it!!! I hope Bella is able to maintain at least one friendship like that - it is a real gift!

  • Kelly

    Kim, I hope so too! We moved around a lot when I was growing up and then many of the friends I made once we settled here in town took a different path than I did. I value what I learned from them (about myself, life, love, etc), though. Hopefully it will be different for my kiddos.

  • Cheri

    I moved around so much as a kid that most friendships were a year or two at most and over as soon as we moved on. My longest standing friendship is with a friend I met right after I graduated from college. She lives very much in the background of my life (even though we live in the same town) but we are still good friends and manage to get together once in a while. My best friends are either friends I met IRL but who happen to live far away, or friends I've made blogging!

  • Sofia's Ideas

    I feel this way too but unfortunately I moved so much when I was younger, and now we've moved our kids around a lot as well. A few years ago, we moved them 3 times in a 2 year period! And now we are having to move again because we desperately need the space.

    I hope that we'll settle down long enough for them to build lasting relationships...

    I have a handful of close friends, and I cherish them, because they love me unconditionally and they actually "get me". We are all spread out now, in different parts of the world, but it doesnt change how much we can lean on each other when needed. That's good enough for me. Besides, I can't deal with high maintenance friendships! ;)

  • Kelly

    I'm the same way, Sophie. I have friends scattered all over and think of them as the closest people in my life, though I don't see them every day. I also have several close friends who live near me and I appreciate that we can just hang out and enjoy each other.

    High maintenance friendships aren't for me. I've lost several friends because I can't be their "soulmate" and maintain my own life at the same time.

  • Liz

    Awwww! I'm happy that Bella has some special friendships!

  • Amber Page Writes

    I have a few friends I've known since high school, and although we don't always speak frequently, I love knowing that they're out there when I need them.

  • rudri

    This post resonated with me. I am struggling with a long time friendship and don't know what road to take. But I agree with you about the high maintenance friendships - they are just too much work.

  • Kelly

    Rudri, I have walked away from 3 long-term friendships. One of those was with a girl whose parents were friends with my parents and we played together as children. She took a drastically different path than I did and held some animosity toward me in adulthood. I realized that our friendship-friendship was gone and in its place with toxic acquaintanceship. It was sad for me to lose a person who I share so many memories with, but it was the healthy choice for me. I hope you're able to figure out what's the healthy choice for you.

  • Cathy

    Facebook has done wonders for me to reconnect with friendships from elementary school. In fact, a couple of years ago we had an 8th grade class reunion. Totally informal, organized completely via facebook. We ended up having over half of our graduating class present.

    It is good to have friends that have known you forever. It's fun to see how you've changed, and are still the same.

  • ck

    That was beautiful, Kelly. I often think on the same things as I watch my daughters growing up with their friends.

  • Kelly

    I don't think children understand the importance of their little friendships, and who knows how many they'll make over the years. Perhaps having a mom who "gets it" will help them create the friendships that last.

  • Kristen @ Motherese

    What a gorgeous photo and beautiful words. Like you, I don't have any friendships still in tact from my days as a "little." But I'm also envious of those who do. What a blessing.

  • Jen

    I totally agree with you. I envy how easily my kids make friends. I wish I could do that.

  • Kelly

    @Jen - that's the other side of it. The ability to form these fast, tight little friendships is so cool. As an adult, and as a child, it has not been so easy for me.

  • SmartBear

    Most days when I pick up my son, I hide out behind the door to watch him play out the window. I love to see him with friends. What a precious photo!

  • Bibliomama

    That's interesting. I always assumed I would go away from home for school and then to work, so I didn't expect to keep my childhood friends. I wonder how many childhood friendships actually do survive through adulthood. I do have one or two really good friends I've known since high school, but none from earlier.

  • Amber

    Lesson learned for me as well. I grew up in the same neighborhood until I was 15, but the friendships I had then have since sizzled out. However, I don't feel bad about this because I didn't relate all that well with them anyway. That might sound like an excuse, but I'm not trying to phrase it like that. I am very grateful for the friendships I formed while at college. Those are friendships that will be long lasting.

    Still, I do wonder what it's like to have that kind of friend. Ben did and in some ways I'm jealous. I can't deny, though, that I have been richly blessed.

  • Justine

    I am fortunate that I am still in contact with friends I've known since we were seven, but they're all in another continent and our lives could not be more different. However, when we do see each other once in a very blue blue moon, it's like no time had passed. It's a wonderful feeling.

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