In the past few years, I have done lots of soul searching (navel gazing?) and lifestyle evaluation (more navel gazing?) and bootstrap pulling to separate who I am from who others want me to be, and the fear that comes from not trusting that your true self is enough.
These are the mantras I've learned so far. Repeating them daily keep me from regressing, descending, spiraling into the pit of self: self-pity, self-doubt, self-loathing, self-absorption ... you get the picture.
It's not my business what other people think of me.
Words have only the power you give them.
Speak and act with the intention and direction of truth and good.
Always make the next best choice.
Courage means asking questions and expressing what you need.
It's okay to be wrong.
I am not the most important person in this room.
It's my job to love myself. If I don't, who will?
This is not about me unless I make it about me.
Notice a theme? My whole life, I've felt there was so burning spotlight trained directly on me. People watching, judging, measuring and always me coming up short. My mantras revolve around me remembering that I am just another face in the crowd.
You wouldn't believe how freeing it is to know that the room isn't staring at you. That the world couldn't care less about you. That you can show up to a fitness class or a civic group meeting or a house party and no one will care you're there. Sure, someone may be happy to see you or someone may cringe that you showed up, but that person is just like you -- just another person in a world full of people.
In the end, it's not my business if you want me to show up. It's not business if you think I look disgusting in a bathing suit. It's not my business if you can't believe I don't know that song, that word, that movie. My business is putting good into the world. My business is loving myself. My business is speaking what I need so that others can be fully present in my life (and I can be fully present in theirs).
Those are my mantras. What are yours?
Those are all good things to remember. Mine is "just keep breathing." It applies to a whole lot of situations.
Well, my first would be: live for the moment. My next would be: Yes, life sucks. Deal with it. I probably live more in the former than the latter.
I too have heard the mantra about it not being my business what others think of me and, I hate to say it, but I'm so dense it took me years to figure out what that meant. Now I get it. I can't float along next to every word I write to explain it in the best possible light; I can't say everything perfectly all the time; I can't worry about whether everyone will love me. Like you said, most people really aren't thinking about me at all! I just need to live in my corner of the universe and remember that I'm a human-sized member of the world - no bigger and no smaller.
Amen, Linda. Amen.
I thought of another one. This one is in regards to food, which is one of my biggest struggles. I tell myself at least 10 times each day: "You'll eat again." That immediately reminds me I don't have to stuff my face or eat everything available to me. There will be another meal. Promise. :)
"You'll eat again." Love this. Have to remind myself of this more often.
As for my own mantras--now you've got me thinking. I know they are there but I can't seem to pick any from the air right now. Or from my brain! I think I'll have to dive into a post of my own when I get a better handle of the words that drive me. Thank you for making me think...love that!