26.6.11

On bringing home the bacon

Work is killing me. There, I said it.

There are kids underfoot during the day. Camp start and end times to make. Consulting meetings and networking lunches. Proposals to submit and invoices to fight over. Phone calls from people who tell you they want you to share your knowledge, but don't want to pay you for it. Deadlines and words and rampant commas. People seeing you make money, and then trying to cash in on your ideas.

Work. But not the kind that pays my bills. 

I freelance as a writer and am paid pretty lucratively when it comes down to hours spent meeting those deadlines. But I have a side project that's really taking off. It holds my heart and sucks up my time and energy, but doesn't pay much (or anything until recently).

If I could just get rid of those paying writing jobs, I know I could grow my side project into something spectacular. Or, if I could have full-time childcare, I know I could handle all the work coming my way without regularly working until 2am. Also known as: different variations of the same pipe dream.

And then there's the guilt about how I should just be happy to have a job when so many are struggling -- especially in my town where unemployment is in the double digits. Add more guilt about how I wish the kids were somewhere else during the day ... which ratchets up when I read so many bloggers posting about how glorious the long summer days are with their amazing and smart kiddos.

How do you work-at-home moms juggle security with entrepreneurism, parenting with needing time and space to work, fitting everything into a day? How do you parent the kids and chauffeur them to camp and get the groceries and clean the house and make the dinner and clean up after and nurture a marriage ... and still find the time to be a woman who brings home some tasty bacon?

There has to be a better way...

11 comments:

  • Life with Kaishon

    The older they get the easier it is, right? : ) I work from home a couple of days a week and then in the city the other days. I LOVE being home. My baby is 11 though, so I am sure it is a million times easier for me than it is for you! I hope you can make your side passion grow Kelly! I will pray about it.

  • ayala

    Kelly, it's not easy. You have your hands full, but it sounds like you love your side business. I hope with time things get better and easier to manage.
    Take a moment o take care of yourself :)

  • HynesMom

    I definitely don't have any answers. I don't work at home. Would like to, but with a husband with spotty employment, I don't see it ever happening - my working is our safety net for the times he ends up out of work, along with the fact that my job provides the health insurance.

    But I feel a lot of the same things. I've been working a lot at home lately. And I have my own side project, but absolutely no time to work on it. Plus the very real desire to spend more time with my child. There's only so much you can do.

  • Draft Queen

    I hated working from home for that reason. For some reason, it always seemed I was drowning in stuff to do, because I was forever surrounded by ALL of it.

    And then I got a second husband ;)

    I hope you can find a balance that fits you and your family.

    (Also, The Knight agrees that we'd love to have Bella around. She IS quite cute!)

  • Abbey

    I hear you sister!

  • Melissa

    There has to be a season where everything gets easier. I just don't know which season that is.

  • Cathy

    Yeah I know. I could be a professional pool player or golfer if only I had the time to devote. Instead I'm a slave to the office. Never achieving my interest and dreams.

  • Courtney

    I am a non money maker so I cant help ya on this one but I totally will be praying that you are able to figure out a great schedule and am so happy that your loving your side project even with the craziness!

  • Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri

    It is definitely not easy and there are always things to do. I remember when I worked for home, I always felt completely swamped. I have no words of advice, but I sympathize. It's always hard trying to find that balance.

  • hy

    I often feel this way too -- and I remind myself of the season I'm in often -- two little kids are needier than two bigger kids. I often tell myself that there will be room for my other works to blossom when my kids are in full bloom. {Sometimes it helps, other times not. Today it does. ;-) }

  • Cheryl

    I'm not at all in the same boat, not having kids yet, but I relate a little to this nonetheless. Now that I'm freelancing, I feel like I'm working twice as hard to make half the money, and there is less time to grow ideas than I thought there would be. I hope you soon find yourself in a position where you can focus less on invoices (the recent bane of my own existence) and more on your side project so that it is no longer on the side.

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