What experience has most shaped you, and why? I think watching my mother raise my sisters and I by herself truly defined me. The series of events that led to that, and all that happened as a result, led me to where I am today (for better or worse). There are many components of this: absentee father, drug and alcohol addiction, a chronically sick younger sister and mentally sick older sister, being the one in the middle who's expected to make due and rock no boats and who slips silently through many cracks.
Without all of that riding around in my suitcase, I have no idea who I'd be. But I wouldn't change any of it because I can finally say -- and it took years to get here -- that I like who I am.
If you had a whole day with no commitments, what would you do? I think I've mentioned before that I'm lazy, right? So, with no commitments, I'd likely sleep and eat and laugh and lounge ... but I wouldn't really do anything. I probably wouldn't even get out of my pajamas. (Not that I get out of them much anyway.) Now, a day with no budget? Totally different story.
What food or drink could you never give up? Hot sauce. Without it, food just doesn't taste right. I'm eating Chili Lime hot sauce on my popcorn right this second. Earlier I had Texas Pete on chicken and George's Hot Barbecue Sauce on my rice. At lunch it was Texas Pete in my Tomato Basil soup. I can't stand the thought of eating an egg without a good dousing of the sauce. If there's no hot sauce, I make it work with chopped jalapenos or spicy salsa, but I need my hot sauce!
If you could travel anywhere, where would that be and why? I would travel to San Francisco to see my grandmother who I haven't seen since I was 12. And I'd have to bring my children, especially Javi who writes to "Big Grandma" every few days and treasures the letters she sends back. At 89, she's a firecracker who I'd love to meet again as an adult.
What did you think you were going to be when you grew up? For a while I thought I'd be a pediatrician or a teacher because my mom said I was great with children. However, sometime in junior high I realized that I wanted to be a writer. I thought I'd be the Next Great American Multicultural Poet, but I've become content with short stories and blogging and the words I'm paid to write. It feels like I've accomplished my goals in theory, though not much in spirit.
What character trait inspires you the most? I am most inspired by kindness. It's so rare that I meet someone who is genuinely kind without hoping for something in return or simply being nice. When I meet one of the down-deep kind people in this world, something my soul stirs. I want to be like them, to have my heart transcend my mind the way theirs does.
Which book or books have inspired or touched you the most? The Four Agreements changed my life. Before reading it, my entire being was wrapped up in external forces and I was depressingly unhappy. As I read the book and reflected and meditated on the Agreements, I felt myself slough off my emotional baggage (that suitcase referenced earlier) and begin down the path to being the person I am meant to be.
How/where did you meet your spouse/significant other? My husband is from a mountain. Which means you won't be surprised when I tell you that I met him when I was 14 years old and dating his cousin/best friend, who was my next-door neighbor and whose brother eventually fathered my son (with my sister). It's a tangled web, but it's ours.
What is the ideal wake-up time? I am a night owl. Left to my own devices, I'd be up half the night and sleep half the morning. I'm actually glad that I don't have that freedom because, once I'm up, I enjoy getting things done and then having the day ahead of me.
Name a cd that would have to be, hands down, your desert island cd. (Let’s ignore the lack of electricity on desert islands.) I'd probably want to take the Singles soundtrack. None of those bands are my absolute favorite, but listening to that CD reminds me of a great decade in my youth. I'd love to pass my time on the island reminiscing about the glory days! (Oh, wait. Maybe I should take "Born in the USA" instead? And I'd really just want to take my iPod.)
What are three things you hope to accomplish within the next decade? At the end of a decade, I'll be 43. By that age, I'd like to have completed a book of short stories, attended a Broadway play, and worn a pair of size 8 pants. (You didn't think I'd get too deep, did you?)
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I would ditch the procrastination gene. This minute I am procrastinating real work to complete this meme. Instead of doing my real work now, I'll do it tomorrow night after everyone's gone to bed. I'll work into the wee hours of the morning and then wake up exhausted and cranky. I could avoid this by doing the work now, but that's not how the procrastination gene works. If only I could do things in enough time to not be stressed ... dude, my life would be so different!
This meme requires that I add a question and ask a few other bloggers to play along. My question is: How has blogging changed who you are or how you see yourself?
I'd truly love to read all of your answers to these questions, so please feel free to play along. But for the sake of keeping it going I tag:
- Rudri of Being Rudri
- Melissa of My Life and How It's Going
- Jill of The Drafts Folder
- Alli of Bibliomama
- Anjie of Loving my Panda Bear
- Penny of A Mom's View of ADHD
We are sisters in hot sauce love!
Ooh, these were good! And that was a lot of questions to answer! And now I totally have "Glory Days" stuck in my head.
So your husband is actually Javi's uncle? How crazy is that?! Actually I remember wondering if I read it right when I read your Adoption story, but then I forgot about it. Too cool!
Oh, and I am totally a procrastinater, too! Like, I'm reading/commenting on this blog when I have a ton of things to do here at work, and then I'll be stressed later today and have to work like a madwoman to get out of here on time. Ugh! Anyway, it was worth the read - thanks! :-)
This was such an interesting post and I enjoyed learning more about you. You are a strong person and I admire that! And you have a lot of wisdom tucked away. <3
love your openness and how you share how you finally love yourself. I think we will always be on the journey but its great to come to the realization we will love ourselves all the time!
Kelly,
Enjoyed reading the answers to these questions. The Four Agreements made me question how I interpreted alot of things in my life and I always go back to those 4 sentences when life is giving me something I can't handle. And the short story collection - I am with you on that.
Thanks for the tag... I promise I will try to get to it. Soon :)
Chile Lime hot sauce & popcorn sounds absolutely divine right about now...
Oh my god do I know about that procrastination gene. It's in my house too so I don't think my daughter will escape it. I feel like I should write her an apology letter for that. I will get to it later after I clear out my Google Reader :)
I have the procrastination gene too, unfortunately. One of these days I will get around to eliminating it. ;)
Now I want you to go see your grandma too.
PS. You can have the hot sauce.
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I have but a moment because kids are about to descend!! But I'll be back to read soon, each and every word. And you are too sweet for playing along.
Oh my goodness I am loving this... and loving getting to know you better! So much to say about what you wrote in your answers, but I won't take over in your comments. I have The Four Agreements sitting and waiting to be read and I can hardly wait. And I must tell you that we are the same age, so here's to the next decade! I bet we'll be suprised where we get.
Also, I'm excited, because I see I have some new bloggers to explore.
xo
Now I want to go check out that book! Thanks for the little glimpse into your life. :)
I so enjoyed getting to know you a bit better.
One of my defining life events was watching my mom raise my sister and I, too. It makes you see everything in a very different light.
And I'm one of those people who is drawn to genuine kindness, too. :)
Loved getting to know you better, Kelly. And I'm a night owl, too. It doesn't work very well with kiddos, does it?! =>
This was so fun to read! If you figure out how to get rid of the procrastination gene, please let me know. :)