Me: Uhh, hmm, mornin' baby.
Bella: I waked up. It mornin' so I waked up.
Me: Uh huh. Mama's still sleepy.
Bella: I not sweepy. I waked up. I want chocyut miyilk and ceruhl wid miyilk in a bowl. And I wanna fwy my kite and pway in the campah. Okay, mama?
Me: Uhhemm. How 'bout Elliot Moose?
Bella: Ehweeot Moose is on da yoose?
Me: Uh huh.
Bella: That's not fwyin' kites or pwayin' or eatin'.
Me: Umhmm. Let's turn it on.
Bella: You not bein' the best mom ever. You bein' sweepy mama. You need waked up yike me. You bein' wazy.
Me: Okay meanie. No birthday party for you.
Bella: Oh, mama. You bad mama. You not best mom ever. You is havin' my kite birthday party! I'm gonna go tell my daddy right now!
Me: That's it. No more Elliot Moose for you. Go on back to your room and play.
Bella: I yuv Ehweeot Moose! Him's on the yoose! I watch him right now. RIGHT NOW, Mama. I still tellin' my daddy, dough.
And so began my day.
Lessons learned: Be prepared to wake up at the crack dawn with a starving and bossy child. Offering a beloved but creepy children's show won't work, but threatening to take it away will. It's impossible to sleep through a tiny monster singing, "Ehweeot Moose! Him's on the yoose. Ehweeot Moose! Him's on the yoose. Ehweeot Moose! Him's on the yoose. Ehweeot Moose is on the yoose. Ehweeot Ehweeot Ehweeot Ehweeot Ehweeot Ehweeot..,." You get the picture.