QOTD: Precious gold

Scene: Billy, my sister (who's living with us for a while), Bella, and I were sitting in the living room. I was trying to tame Bella's curly* hair so that we could head out for kid's night at a local restaurant as we do every Monday night. Everyone else was lying around as if the Dinner Fairy was due any minute. Ehem.

In trots Javi.

J: Mama, is that your jewelry in the bathroom?

Me: I have jewelry in the bathroom.

J: Is it the gold jewelry on sink?

Ashley: No, Javi, that's mine. Why?

J: It's precious gold. I need it.

Ashley: What?

J: I need that precious gold to send in for money. I saw it on tv. It said send in all your precious gold. Can I have it?

Ashley: Uh, it's not real gold.

J: Is it precious?

Ashley: No, buddy. It's not precious.

J: Oh. When you get some precious gold, let me know, okay?

Ashley: Will do.

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Scene: Bella was lying across the back of the couch wearing nothing but a diaper. She spotted the DVD liner for Elmo's Potty Time, a remnant leftover from a whopping full-month of potty trained Bella.

B: I wan watch dat Ahmo Pahty Time.

Me: Daddy's watching football. Want to read this instead?

B: Okay. Dat Ahmo!

Me: Yep, and what's this (pointing at a roll of toilet paper).

B: Dat's papeh towdyels fah wipin' mah bud!

Me: (suppressing laughter) Good job, that's right. It's toilet paper.

B: Not toedit papeh. It papeh towdyels. I no wipin my bud and my sheesetake wid dat papeh towdyels, Mama. I not!

Me: I know you're not.

B: I wipin yo bud?

Me: No, I wipe my own butt.

B: I wipin yo sheesetake?

Me: Nope, I do that, too.

B: Dat okay, Mama. Javi said I wipin his bud yestahday.

Me: JAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

(No worries, Javi had no idea what Bella was talking about. There's really no telling.)