31.3.11

Freedom

There's something is happening here (what it is ain't exactly clear...).

The battle to actually get paid for my work (you know, per the freelance contract I signed) has whittled me into a sharp, shiny point. Concurrently, opportunities are opening up on a local level that I couldn't have contemplated a year ago (or a month ago, honestly).

Freedom is an interesting concept right now. For me, now, it's knowing you can contribute financially to your family. Freedom to be home when necessary, to pick up dinner rather than whip it up from scratch, to grab an extra day of daycare here and there. But there's also freedom in deciding your contributions won't be financial. You save money by caring for your children, bargain shopping at the grocery store, consigning used clothes and toys, and supporting the people who make your house a home.

Or, potentially, the freedom of soaring in your own direction, to carve a new career out of something that you love and that you're good at. Something that started small but has become a huge part of your life. The freedom of getting paid for doing what you love.

And here's the crux for me. Is financial security worth performing a service that you loathe? If you aren't paying me in a timely manner and I have to fight and scratch for the money that I've already earned ... is it irresponsible to walk away -- and embark on opportunities that may not pay off in the long run, but that make my soul happy?

So there it is. The freedom I'm contemplating carries tremendous risk. It would require sacrifice and buckling down. A potentially wonderful, well-suited-to-me career change could mean no freedom at all. Or it could mean living the life I dream of.

I'm teetering on a line here and one foot has already lifted. Do I stop expecting to find joy and purpose in my job or do I use my freedom to jump?

How about you? Have you ever fought your inner desire for stability and taken a leap of faith that could affect your family? And here's my take on the freedom that comes with a second (or third or fourth) child.

14 comments:

  • iseeyoulookingatme

    I haven't really taken such risks since I've had a family, but I remember the decision making processes from *before*. I can't wait to here what happens with you!!

  • Cheri

    jump Kelly jump! Then I'll live vicariously through someone who was brave enough to make that hard decision, because I sure haven't been....

  • The Mommy Mambo

    Can't win if you don't play! But don't stress yourself, that is certainly not the point!

  • TKW

    I am the biggest chicken in the universe. (maybe that's why I love Miss Fancy so much?)

    But I've always hated that about myself and, I'm sure, lost so many opportunities because of my cowardice.

    I stumbled across an article about ADHD in a magazine recently and thought, "Kelly could do better than that," and it's such a pertinent issue. I think you should quit and freelance.

    Really.

  • Justine

    Ah yes. THAT freedom. I used to be a risk taker until my family came along and now I can't stop sweating the minor details, so trying to pursue my ideal path has been put on hold because of my fear of what it would do to us financially. But if you had the freedom and the ability, I say go for it. Take that chance while you still can, and let me live vicariously through you :)

  • ayala

    Kelly, teetering is difficult but I think you will make the right decision in the end. I always tell my older son to follow his passion. It's not always easy.....

  • Life with Kaishon

    I don't have a good answer. I love the picture and the quote though.
    Follow your heart.

  • melissa

    Well, it depends. Are there chickens involved?

    Just kidding. Doesn't depend on the chickens.

    Hey, if you're not getting paid how you should anyway, might as well not get paid for doing the thing you love instead of the thing you don't!

    And if you need that paper bag, you just let me know. ;)

  • Stephanie

    Thank you for hanging out at my place today. It was fun having you around again.

    Secondly, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Take the leap. Unfurl your wings and fly. You'll land exactly where you need to be.

  • Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri

    I've taken that leap. And it was a tremendous risk. I was scared of the uncertainty and the mounting financial stress, but I did it. And Kelly, I've never looked back. It was the best decision I've made. I urge you to go for it.

  • Courtney

    I say go with you gut, take a risk if it means you will
    Be happy and not have to stress and yell at getting money you have earned.

  • Cathy

    I, too, am contemplating a slightly different path - leaving the comfort of the unknown for the unknown. Opting for more freedom at home while having a chance for career growth. Seems like a no-brainer, but seems scary to me too. I wish you luck in yours.

    Also, no if they are not paying, saying adios is the way to go (IMO).

  • Christine

    Oh my goodness, I'm sitting on the edge of me seat, thinking and wondering so many of the same thoughts. The time may not be right for you, but you should really consider doing a Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab. They help you through so much of this stuff. It's quite an incredible way to see your life.

    Just today my husband said: Let's crunch the numbers and see if we can make it so you can stay home. The time isn't right for me, but how wonderful it is to dream.

    I'm so excited by this post, because of the light I read between the lines.

  • Cheryl

    I love this post, Kelly. I'm having similar contemplations, trying to figure out what I'm willing to sacrifice for my definition of freedom. I'm looking forward to reading more about your decision.

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