Letter to Bella, month two

Dear Bella,

You are asleep now, rocking slowly side to side in the glider your grandma gifted us earlier this month. That glider has become my rock as you spend more and more time awake and alert and READY FOR ACTION.


The cliche "time flies" has yet to make its appearance in our house. I feel every moment of every hour of every day as you demand my attention. Though it can be draining after a while, I love your desparate need to stare at a familiar face. Not just any face will do. In order of desire, you want to see Daddy's face the most, then Javi's, then mine. The good news is, your smile is infectious and we all live for the moment you grace us with it.

I caught Daphne staring down at you while you were laying on the Hippo Gym pad. You squealed with delight, Daphne shook with fear and apprehension at the little humanoid with the busy hands and feet. When my face took the place of Daphne's you seemed almost disappointed and looked around wildly for another snout to observe. I knew then that your brain was absorbing and processing every new sight and sound - and I felt a flush of anticipation at what would come next.

I think the shiny newness has worn off for your big brother, though. He's no longer impressed by the simple fact that you exist. Rather, he wants you up and playing already! But this doesn't mean he doesn't take pride in a Job Well Done. Your brother holds you at least once a day, sits in front of you so you can stare and smile at him, and begs to feed you at least once. He's become a more disciplined kid in the past month as we all settle into a routine and he learns how to be The Oldest.

We've done at lot of traveling this month now that I'm not as worried about bringing you into contact with nasty germs. You are the one person everyone at my Weight Watchers meetings looks forward to seeing. We put in a special appearance at the Keith's annual Memorial Day pig picking and you stole the show in a pink patchwork dress and matching hat. We spent an evening watching a tap, jazz and hip hop dance recital.

Everywhere we go, people exclaim how beautiful you are. How handsome your brother is. How lucky your parents are to have such a gorgeous family. I promise them that we'd love you all anyway - and I mean it. Despite the fact that you routinely poop your diaper RIGHT AFTER I change you, despite your need to be entertained by someone (ANYONE) rather than stupid toys, and despite your intense dependence on the Soothie, I know your father, brother and I would be this in love with you regardless.

I've been a little insecure lately over "milestones." I know that I shouldn't care and that I should be comfortable with you developing at your own pace, but it's so hard when I have Javi's development to compare yours to. At three days, Javi could hold his head up. At four weeks, he slept through the night. At two months, he was grasping toys, kicking at his play gym, and trying to roll over. You aren't really showing much interest in toys, you don't seem to be regarding your hands or gaining any more control over your body.

However! I fed and burped you last night at 11:30, put you down in the bassinet for bedtime and we all went to sleep. Guess what time you woke me up this morning? 8:00 AM - yes, 8 in the MORNING. You slept through the night!!! Your dad was nonplussed by this fact but I wanted to get up a dance a jig. This is probably because I'm the one who gets up between 3 and 4 every morning to feed and change you. Dude. I can't explain to you the joy your smily, sleep-filled face filled me with this morning.

And I know that in your time (not mine or Javi's) you'll be interested in mobiles and toys, you'll reach out for something, you'll roll. Hell, you'll probably even crawl and walk one day. And it'll be on your terms, not mine or anyone else's. And you know what? Even if you don't. Even if it takes you years to learn that you have opposable thumbs and master the art of shaking a rattle - I'll love you like there's no tomorrow.

I have big plans for you, little girl. In the short term, those plans include wearing your new bikini at the pool, going to meet more of your extended family and getting your 2-month immunizations (where we think you'll weigh in at a healthy 11 pounds).

In the long term, those plans are full of laughter and love.

Always,
Mama