Letter to Bella, month six

Dear Bella,

Your first fall is slowly approaching and with it comes the soft, sunny days we both appreciate. You enjoy taking in the sights and sounds of the outside world; I enjoy how you require no external stimulation when you're not stuck in the house. It's sad, though, because being outside is a sign that 1) it will soon be cold and 2) you are learning that At Home is not always where you want to be.

You are the big 0-6 today. Just six short months ago, your dad and I were examining your perfect fingers and toes, exclaiming about what a thick head of hair you have, and falling in love with you. Today you've laughed, screamed, cried, eaten, slept, and attacked the cat - but your fingers and toes are still perfect and our love for you has grown exponentially.

Sassette, you are the funniest, happiest, lovey-est baby I've ever known. I gain a pound every time you rest your sweet, furry forehead on mine or your face lights up when you look at me. It's complete saccharine and I can't get enough of it.

You're getting to be a big girl, too. You love to play sitting up, though your "I'm so excited to see you!" personality gets you in trouble because you get so excited you fall backwards. You also fall over when Tiger or Daphne pass by - then you get mad because you can't follow or grab them. You try your hardest to sit up from any position and cry when you can't quite get there.

Speaking of the pets, you love Daphne, but Tiger the Kitty is your absolute favorite. You've already put his foot in your mouth and today you allowed him to lick bananas off your hand. If Tiger is in the room, you struggle to get close to him. Usually this is to get some part of him in your mouth, but he doesn't seem to mind that you want to eat him. Go figure.

Sitting up isn't your only trick. You can also put your own pacifier in and I think you'll be crawling soon. You'll push up on your toes into a down-dog position, then drop one knee and try to drop the other, but then you flop over. Of course, just like when you learned to push up, your arms go completely unused. Those squishy arms are always the last one invited to the party.

But I'm okay with you not crawling for a while. You already scoot around wherever you want to go (hello, wherever Tiger is). I am not ready for you to be able to crawl into other rooms or toward dangerous objects (yes, Tiger I'm talking to you). I guess it'll be time to baby proof soon - ack! yet another chore.

I haven't fed you as much solid food this month. You went through some weird bout that included really runny poos, crazy diaper rash, a low-grade fever and lots of crankiness. I kept waiting for a tooth to break through, but one day all your symptoms just disappeared. I don't know if it was a coincidence, but I stopped all food except for formula right before the symptoms cleared up... so I just never started them back up.

But you're a huge fan of oatmeal mixed with bananas, so I decided to let you eat that in celebration of your Half Birthday. You tore it up, but the sweet monkey in you did share with Tiger so that was nice. Of course, I think you were trying to lure him in for dessert, but that's just a hunch.

In general, you continue to amaze and amuse me. I love that we've spent the past 6 months home together. I have been tossing around going back to work outside the home, but it feels me a suffocating anxiety. I don't want to think about someone else having the pleasure of being in your company all day, someone else watching you crawl the first time, and - most especially - someone else hearing you utter your first words (which I know will happen any day now).

It's not easy being a work-from-home mom, but you, my sweet Sass, make me happier than I could have imagined.

Love, Mama


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