More drama

thanks to all of you who sent wishes and prayers for my little sister. she had a bronch yesterday and goes back for the results today.

the preliminary signs are good. her doctors say her lung capacity has not diminished and that her lungs look perfect. hopefully, the rejection was caught early enough to keep it at bay. she has lost 10 pounds in the past two months, so that's a big deal - esp considering she only weighed 100 pounds to start with. she's back to diet supplements and feeding tubes.

but! there's that silver lining and hopefully it'll turn into a whole silver layer come this afternoon.
of course, she wouldn't be my sister without bringing the drama. so, her new "death bed" wish is to have a baby. she and her boyfriend (who lives on another damned continent) are talking about her getting pregnant before the year's out.

their idea is that she'll have the baby before she's too weak to do so. however, her body - ravaged by cystic fibrosis and immunosuppressants - isn't the best incubator. so, if she can't get pregnant and sustain the fetus, she wants ME (that's right, me) to carry their child for them.

pros: it's my baby sister and she deserves to be a mother if that's what she wants. she and garreth are ready to get married and live happily ever after on that other continent (where she wouldn't have to worry about health care). she's almost as old as i was when i began this new life called motherhood, so i have to believe in her ability to make this decision.

cons: she's in chronic rejection, people. further stress on her body could cause it to shut down. she also injests about 20 different medications a day, surely one of those is dangerous in utero. she and garreth are fun-lovers - i can't imagine them tied to a crib and forced to pay babysitters or, heaven forbid, leave the pub early. she'd move to that continent - he pretty much refuses to live here and at least she could go to the doctor.

so. i don't know what level of participation i should have in this decision. if it comes down to whether i will carry their child sometime in the next 10 months, i'm leaning toward no. in the next 36 months? more likely. i think this is their way of moving forward, but it's desparate and possibly dangerous.

man alive. it's feast or famine around here.


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