tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post9177512089580104024..comments2023-10-26T09:15:10.941-04:00Comments on The Miller Mix: The questions he asksKelly Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12738542739547858853noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-88863961091386739872010-09-15T19:15:27.493-04:002010-09-15T19:15:27.493-04:00Wow. What a powerful post! While I am not involved...Wow. What a powerful post! While I am not involved in any adoptions, every family has "situations" that bring up questions. I admire your approach very much, though I don't think I execute it as well as you seem to.Jamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01041679649470035426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-79276733769776218032010-09-14T19:14:25.025-04:002010-09-14T19:14:25.025-04:00I agree with the entire approach of answering only...I agree with the entire approach of answering only the question that is asked. Which applies equally to questions asked of any parent - about drugs, where babies come from, difficult life choices... keep answers simple and age appropriate and usually kids will be satisfied with far less than the scripted lecture we thought might be necessary. You are doing great Kelly!Cherihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15398170245040387614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-29086092655198362762010-09-14T10:48:45.259-04:002010-09-14T10:48:45.259-04:00Through what you've written here & in the ...Through what you've written here & in the past, it seems like you're making the "right" choices - taking it a day at a time. Growing up my parents were honest with me through the easy & the hard questions. It made me grow up to trust & respect the choices they made for me - even if I didn't always agree. What a wonderful post.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00752979570538253217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-66694646975161119972010-09-14T10:11:46.603-04:002010-09-14T10:11:46.603-04:00Kelly, this is a wonderful post that I'm sure ...Kelly, this is a wonderful post that I'm sure many adoptive parents have struggled through. The questions, though, aren't just for adoptive parents but often for woman who place their babies for adoption. It's a difficult and courageous thing for these women to do and I know they struggle with these questions often. If they only knew how lucky their kids were to be placed in a family as loving as yours. I'm sure your sister does know, but my sister still struggles with this. Even though her adoption is open.<br /><br />Now I'm rambling. I guess we have talked about this many times so maybe you can tell me what I'm referring to. : )amber_mtmchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17871256362646081536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-1393166303520303132010-09-14T07:17:41.989-04:002010-09-14T07:17:41.989-04:00This is an incredible post, and I actually think t...This is an incredible post, and I actually think there is a lot to be taken away even for mothers who answers questions from biological children. It's a wise approach, one that I think I'll keep in the back of my mind always. You are an amazing mother. You care for him and love him and think about all these important things. He'll know that always. <br />xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-47118279691701978322010-09-14T03:03:12.656-04:002010-09-14T03:03:12.656-04:00I'm not sure how my mom did it with the twins,...I'm not sure how my mom did it with the twins, but they have never asked the hard questions. I think maybe having always had a relationship with me has helped keep the hard questions at bay. When they turned 18, I got online and talked to both of them and told them the story of their birth and asked them if they had any questions. They didn't really. They are far more interested in the absent parent then the present one.<br /><br />My daughter, however, asks the hard questions, like "why didn't you give me away too?" CRUSHER!! I just try to find the line that answers her question without giving too much information. Usually a response of "I was older and in a better position to take care of you" works.<br /><br />You are doing a great job with it. Javi's such a crazy guy (in a good way). You're doing fantastic with him. I think he knows it too.The Drama Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11989820542966245871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-9351512418313683762010-09-13T17:57:19.080-04:002010-09-13T17:57:19.080-04:00I think it sounds like you have a good idea of jus...I think it sounds like you have a good idea of just rolling with the punches instead of stressing about it..all in all in the long run he knows you were best and meant for him. you gave up a ton and your husband came into this all open...amazing and well worth itAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05000663314398947348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-79216591295033320922010-09-13T14:51:40.884-04:002010-09-13T14:51:40.884-04:00I think its great that you choose to answer his qu...I think its great that you choose to answer his questions with grace and honesty. I've always been an advocate of answering questions directly, but with love. I think you are doing great with him, learning to recognize when to be honest and when to take some steps back.Rudrihttp://www.beingrudri.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16484482.post-87467224248237619982010-09-13T07:57:20.855-04:002010-09-13T07:57:20.855-04:00Wow. I think you are navigating Javi through this ...Wow. I think you are navigating Javi through this very gracefully and with honesty and compassion. I think some of his questions would leave me breathless. But he is one secure kid--I love that he gave you permission to adopt another son but "he can't have my room!" That's a great kiddo.TKWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409505008377005185noreply@blogger.com